The road to success is rarely straight. Anyone who has achieved success in any area of their life will likely tell you that their journey was not an easy one. Roadblocks, dead ends, disappointments, bad decisions, and failures (collectively referred to as “experience”) are often the stepping-stones that forge the path to success. Most people who have achieved success have also hit rock bottom somewhere along the way. But it was the experience of hitting rock bottom that gave these individuals...
Many people look in the mirror and see someone they don’t like very much. They see faults, flaws and failures. They feel shame, embarrassment and maybe even anger toward themselves. Part of the reason some people have poor self-esteem is a discrepancy between expectations and reality (though this reality is usually distorted). According to Ryan Howes, Ph.D, psychologist, writer and professor in Pasadena, California, “Deep down we’ve all constructed an idea of who we ‘should’ be: how we...
by Angela Wilcox on February 7, 2015
The best way of dealing with any fear, rational or irrational, is to confront it. I think this is conventional wisdom. Everyone has the experience of growing up and being afraid of all sorts of things: the monster under the bed, standing up in class, being left home alone, being threatened by a bully, and so on. These fears go away after a time when the young person looks under the bed, stands up in front of class repeatedly, spends enough time home alone and develops the physical skills and experience...
by Angela Wilcox on February 5, 2015
depression can occur under many circumstances but most commonly is present in these two situations: Sudden Severe Loss In this situation, the individual has experienced a sudden, perhaps surprising severe loss. This loss may be the death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of friendship, or other grief process. In this type of depression, the patient can clearly identify what is creating the depressed mood. Long-term High Stress Level In this situation, the patient is depressed but can’t...
by Angela Wilcox on February 3, 2015
Burger King isn’t going to make you suicidal, at least I don’t think so. And funnel cakes at the beach might not make you bawl right there on the boardwalk. But too much of some of this stuff and you may become unlikeable, to yourself and to everyone around you. A mound of research shows that what we consume goes right to our limbic systems, the emotional headquarters of our body. If we feed it crap, we will feel like crap. If we treat it like the Cadillac we borrowed for the night, it will return...
by Angela Wilcox on January 28, 2015
The Anxiety Trick The Anxiety Trick is behind most of the trouble people have with chronic anxiety. Have you struggled to overcome an anxiety disorder, only to get disappointing results, or even feel worse over time? You’re being fooled by the Anxiety Trick. This is a terribly common occurrence, and people mistakenly blame themselves for it. Here’s a more accurate, and helpful, way to understand this common and frustrating problem. What is an anxiety disorder? It’s you getting tricked...
by Angela Wilcox on January 27, 2015
People can be toxic in different ways, but regardless of what kind of toxicity they bring to a relationship, they just have to go. One toxic person in my life was manipulative of my time and resources, and another always talked about himself and how bad things continued to happen to him all the time. For my own sake and the sake of my family, I had to tell them both I didn’t want to hear from them again. Sit down and really think about the relationships in your life. Think about how you react...
by Angela Wilcox on January 22, 2015
Facing Fears and Moving Forward Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? Or has a fear of failure meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own efforts to avoid the possibility of a larger failure? Many of us have probably experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward. But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we’re...
by Angela Wilcox on January 20, 2015
We all procrastinate from time to time. Sometimes it’s those mundane things – like sorting through old files, reconciling accounts, or tidying the linen cupboard. But often it’s the bigger things that require more time, more commitment, and put us at more risk of failing, looking foolish or feeling emotionally bruised. Things like updating our resume to look for a new job, confronting a situation that weighs us down, or pursuing a long held aspiration. Of course people come up with all...
by Angela Wilcox on January 17, 2015
Start small Make resolutions that you think you can keep. If, for example, your aim is to exercise more frequently, schedule three or four days a week at the gym instead of seven. If you would like to eat healthier, try replacing dessert with something else you enjoy, like fruit or yogurt, instead of seeing your diet as a form of punishment. Change one behavior at a time Unhealthy behaviors develop over the course of time. Thus, replacing unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones requires time. Don’t...